I grew up in a typical middle class blended family, I was the youngest of five. My parents both had two children from previous marriages before meeting and having me.
Unfortunately that’s where the happy story ends. I endured mental, physical and sexual abuse growing up. Any sign of weakness was used against me.
Around age 10 I made my first serious attempt at suicide. My family never knew that I had tried, and I kept what I was going through a secret. After that I managed to somehow keep those dark thoughts at bay, although I lived with un-diagnosed depression and anxiety everyday.
In high school those thoughts started to creep back into my mind and I began thinking about ending my life again. Again, I mostly kept it a secret.
At the age of 27 I made another attempt at taking my own life and for the first time was admitted to a mental health unit. One year later, I made another, more serious attempt and found myself back at the same mental health unit.
I’ve struggled with mental illness for most of my life, and my greatest fear is that the depression will destroy me before I conquer it.
I’m 30 now and life is still a roller coaster of emotions, but I’m still here fighting everyday.