First you have to realize that there have been plenty of people who have said those phrases to me, only to realize that they didn’t actually want to know. They only had one choice after that, and that was to just quit communicating with me.
Everything, all of the stress related to our relationship, the uncertainty about what we actually were from day-to-day, if Josh was going to leave that day or not, was quickly taking it’s toll on my mental health and I quickly spiraled back into those suicidal thoughts. I was admitted to another mental health unit trying to deal with everything flashing through my mind. I had no control anymore.