Those Pesky Little Pills

Mental illness is so much more complicated than any pill that any mortal could invent.
— Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

Ah yes, those helpful little pills. You know, the ones that are suppose to make my life a little more manageable. Well, the depression anyway. Pills can’t fix everything. You can’t rely on them for everything.

I remember my first one. I was so scared to even request an appointment with a doctor. I didn’t have a regular doctor that I saw. I never went to the hospital for check ups. I was starting at the beginning wondering what to do and where to go. I didn’t even know what kind of doctor I needed to see. Luckily I could just place a request on the clinics website and they would match me up. Super simple right?

The fear, oh the fear I felt walking in. I told myself maybe I wasn’t that depressed. Maybe I wasn’t depressed at all and the doctor would call me out on it. Telling me how I was normal and there was nothing wrong with me.

I was wrong.

My depression knew I was going to fight, so it was going to fight back and stop me from even trying.

I was quickly diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Severe Anxiety. The doctor prescribed some medication, told me to take better care of myself and come back in a few weeks to see how things were going.

And just like that I started a whole new journey down this beaten path that is my life.

Talk to your doctor. Stay in contact with them. They are the only person who can help you manage your medication. Never just stop taking it. Believe me they can have nasty withdrawals. They might not work, and that’s okay because there is a long list of others that you can try. I know it can feel overwhelming when your switching from pill to pill and nothing seems to work. It sucks, and there’s no easy way out. I wish there was. Nothing about depression, or anxiety, or any other mental illness is easy, you just have to keep fighting. Don’t let the mental illness win, it doesn’t deserve your life.